With one thought we desire truth. We desire growth. We desire to know Gods will.
But in the very same moment, in creeps a fear that is at war with those desires.
We want security. We want justification. We want comfort.
They just don't mix.
We're afraid to seek truth because we know that often with that truth comes the harsh reality that truth requires change.
And sometimes...we just don't want to.
We are afraid that truth will require that we let go of some things. Things that have maybe been a part of our lives for so long that they feel as if they are a part of our very make up as a human being...they have become one with the identiy we see when we look in the mirror.
Or maybe the truth will tell us that we're not enough on our own...which by the way...we're not...and yet we are. We aren't because apart from Christ, we are nothing...and we are because He says we can come as we are and that He's made perfect in our weakness.
Truth, you see, sets us free. But freedom is sometimes scary. A bird that's only ever known captivity is fearful of the open air. How will the bird ever know it's purpose if it keeps the mentality that it belongs in a cage?
Yet don't we do the same thing? We confine ourselves to the life we've always known or the beliefs we've always held, so afraid to let them go and see what God has really purposed us for.
I am reminded of the very beginning of Romans 12 as I mull over these thoughts. It gives a pattern for knowing Gods will. But it's going to require some things of me...things I desire to hold onto but need to let go of, and things I desire to grab hold of.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:1, 2 NIV)
This passage tells me that if I want to test and approve what God's perfect will is, I must do these things:
Am I willing to let my life, my very body even, be a living sacrifice for God; holy and pleasing I'm every way?
Am I willing to lay down what I do and become subject to Christ?
2. Rebel Against Conformity to the World
Am I able to recognize when my life is conforming to the patterns and standards that the world holds? And am I willing and able to rebel against my natural desire to do so?
3. Be Transformed
Am I willing to release my old beliefs and allow a transformation to take place?
And I willing to be wrong and to let my life be transformed?
4. Renew My Mind
Am I willing to get into God's Word, Worship, Fellowship, and Prayer?
Am I willing to let that renew my mind, replacing old habits, thought processes, belief systems, and identities with the new mind of Christ?
5. Test and Approve God's Will
Am I willing to ask God questions seeking to test His Word and Will?
6. Trust That His Will is Perfect, Good and Pleasing
Am I willing to trust that if God says it's His will, that it must be good, perfect and pleasing?
7. See it All in View of His Mercy
Do I trust that His mercies are new every morning and that all of this is only possible because of His love and mercy?
When we allow ourselves to take that leap of faith, that's when His truth sets us free.