Wednesday, March 4, 2015


Like a ship upon the water
Your love is holding me
As I'm moved to and frow
I'm safe within your keep

I am moved by your love
Held by your love
Kept afloat by your love for me

Sometimes in the safety of a cove
It's rest and peace for me
Other times it's open seas
With waves and storms to beat

But no matter where you take me
I know one thing's for sure
 I am yours and you are mine

I am moved by your love
Held by your love
Kept afloat by your love for me

Saturday, January 24, 2015


Without it, what purpose could anything possibly hold?'s a word I use often these days...probably because I don't know how else to describe the waves of life that ebb and flow so. In they come with pain and struggle, out they flow with peace and rest. 
They are ever changing, and I am therefore ever growing.
It's funny, though, how quickly one can forget the pain of the past...and yet remember it so vividly at the same time. The struggles I go through in the present are difficult, they are painful, full of mistakes, and lots of raw emotion.
They always seem like something I've never walked through before, yet somehow, they remain vaguely familiar at the same time...reminiscent of somewhere I've walked before.
Every trial brings new depth to my soul, drawing me deeper into the love of God...deeper into the purposed life He has for me. But each time, I feel unprepared for the trail, unprepared for the emotion, the struggle...unprepared to face the character flaws that rise to the surface, and the deep wounds revealed that have misshaped my beliefs over the years. All of the new depth and territory makes it seem so different than any other "season" I've walked through...but in the end I end up thinking to myself...I knew this. I remember this. God must have shown me this before.

The truth is each struggle that is molding me, building me, stretching me isn't all that unfamiliar...while I'd like to think it's a a new's the same issue, always....just from a new angle. 
It always comes down to two not so little words.
Trust and Love.
Do I trust God's love?

Recently I was seeking God about some things that He'd been revealing to me...things that to be quite honest, I don't like seeing in myself. I kept asking for an answer...all I heard, over and over again was "I love you."
Today as I poured my soul before my King, He asked me if I trusted His love. My automatic response was...of course...I know you love me! That wasn't what He was asking though. He asked me if I trusted His love. 

You see there is a difference that I have never caught before. I can say without a doubt in my mind that God loves me. I know it. I have had far too many examples of my own, and countless stories in the Bible that lead me to that conclusion. I know His love for me is vast and rich...that it is beautiful and perfect in every way. I have always thought my faith was great because I can say that. Because I can say that I know His love is good, that He is good. 

But just because I know that, doesn't mean I always trust in it. 

I know what I have had evidence to persuade me of...I know what I have proof to back up. 

But to trust...I don't have to see any of that right now. I don't have to understand where I am or why...I have to take what I have known and choose to rely on that, to have faith in that. 

God longs for my heart to be fully His. That is what trust is. It's relying on control to Him completely. 

Sometimes I forget that even the desires of my heart are there to remind me of that. They are meant to lead me to His heart...not my own ways. Sometimes it can be confusing to know God, to know He has a purpose, and to even know that He wants all of you, but to still feel drawn to other things. 

I can't really explain the way that my heart aches some days. It aches for love..for children, for a family to pour my life and love into, for my calling. My heart is burdened with this. Not because I cannot live alone, or cannot live without these, but because I feel that they are a part of who I was made to be, yet not yet a part of my life. 

I imagine this to only be a small glimpse of the way my Father feels. Perhaps this time where I think I am lonely...where I think I am missing something that so desperately feels like it ought to be a part of me..perhaps, just's really a lesson of love, and what I have gained in Him. 

See He understands my heart; His aches for the same things...

The Father's heart aches when his children are not in his arms. He longs for them much more intensely than we could ever long for love of our own, children of our own, dreams and businesses, homes, ...whatever it is we long for...He longs for me..and for you much more. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Losing and Winning

I am always going to be a loser.
That feels strange to type, but it's not meant to be a negative.

God is always asking me to lose. Always asking me to let go.
Lose the things I think I need in order to gain what He has ordained.
Lose myself in the process so that I may discover who He made me to be, not who I decided to be.

The hard thing about all of just's HARD. Losing never feels good in the moment.
We lose and our pride fights against us tooth and nail desperately trying to cling on to something, fearful of losing everything.

The truth in all of this, though, is that we were never really winning before we "lost". And so, we had to lose in order to win.

If we do not let go and move forward, then we will never be able to grab hold of the new things that God is doing and the future that He has prepared for us. 

"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

That wasteland of losing, will soon be remembered for the paths it held, that lead to Victory.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015


It's funny to me that I can sit in the quietness of my home for hours with nothing to write at all. And it seems that no matter how hard I try to clear my mind of distractions, that is all there is. One after another, my mind is swiftly carried away into thoughts of every topic other than the one at hand.
Yet here I sit in a cold, tiled space surrounded by strangers and the words and concentration flow like warm honey. The lull of their ongoing conversations, clicking of their computers, occasional coffee grinder in the background...all of it a mere backdrop for a picture of words on this page.
Ease and comfort in the midst of this hustle and bustle life are the words tonight.
And it feels good.
And it feels right.
Maybe the point is that this is where the inspiration runs rampant. This is where God's heart the midst of His people. Lost and saved alike, here is the representation of Him on His heart beats and his lungs fill with air. His children. To be among them.
This week I was observing a family that was crying out to God on behalf of their son. He was inflicted by an illness, and they were calling on God to heal him. I prayed for the boy a heartfelt prayer...but then my eyes fell on the mother's tear stained face and my heart broke all over again.
I cried as she cried, my heart beating faster and faster as I saw her anguish over her son. She was desperate for God to move.
In that moment, I felt the Lord's heart for His children. I felt the power and vastness of His love. The anguish and compassion that comes from being so in love with that which He calls His own.
It is here among His creation that my heart beats. Here that I feel called and privileged.

"For God so Loved the world..."  and so must we.